2005-07-06 - 1:18 p.m.
It's been a really long time sience i have written. I am so lazy that it somtimes pains me. All I can do is try to better myself.
I guess I also feel that I have been living a double life for a long long time. Its time for me to pick a path and follow it. No more of this sitting back and watching things fly by. I could be at the epidime of happiness by now. I need to find "My Chi".
I do think that it has been a good thing that i lost my job and wrecked my Matrix, and sold the T-Bird. all theose things were really holding me back from moving on. But i am now struggling to hold on to what i have and it is begining to show its wear on me.
I see that Davin is starting to get tired of me. I know that I really don't make it easy on him, but I can't seem to get things right lately. I hope that my the time I find out what is wrong with me and fix it, he and I will still be friends.
I guess I'll find out one way or another.
I guess the good thing is that my feet are finally healing. they haven't blead for about two weeks now. I can't wait till all the pain is gone and i can walk without thinking about it. That will teach me for letting them get that bad in the first place.
Becoming a scout master may prove to be more work than i have hoped for, but as long as i lose none of the kids it may be more rewarding that anything else that i could be doing at this time. Last week at camp new fork they were doing a wholde lot better than i remember being myself. they didn't get in any fights or anything. i do have a good group of boys. I hope that i can be a good influance on them.
